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Author
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Topic: My idiot Brother--- true story
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Amazon
Anal Amazon,
Assaulter of Men
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posted 09-19-2001 08:52
   
My idiot brother. Let me tell you what he did in hopes of sparing others from doing the same.
Derrick is 21 and legally able to drink.
My mother's boyfrined's car broke down, so the four of us are sharing a car. (Mom's)
Derrick went out Firday night. I woke up at 7am Saturday morning and noticed Derrick's bed was empty... the car wasn't there either. I was PRAYING he was getting laid. I tried his cell phone... turned off... Oh, PLEASE let him be getting laid...
Between 7 and 8, I tried to call him maybe 4 times. Phone was turned off.
At 8:15, he calls. He says he is having the car towed home. I say, "Buddy, you are FUCKED!"
He says he is on a road with heavy construction and somehow managed to get the car stuck on a concrete block (or something).
I go wake up mother who jumps out of bed looking like she's ready to kill. She strangles a pillow, punches it, and throws it on the bed. Then she starts to cry. Her boyfriend and I try to calm her down, but she is ready to send my bro back to Cincinnati. Come on, mom... he can't go back. He needs to deal with this here.
Phone rings again, a man asks for my mother. I say she is busy (well, she WAS) and can I take a message.
"This is Davie PD." uh-oh.
Mom is too upset to come to the phone, I am Derrick's sister, what can *I* help him with?
"Derrick got lucky today. We are not arresting him and he won't be getting any kind of ticket." WHEW!
The cop tells me the car MIGHT be usable, but he's not sure... Someone needs to come pick him and the car up as Derrick is too intoxicated to drive. This is our only working car, it must be towed home. Well, the cop is not sure if Derrick has enough money. It's okay, I do, just please have it towed home. Mom then takes the phone while I go get dressed.
WHen Derrick and the tow-truck driver arrive, Derrick is COVERED with concrete and mud.
How much was the tow? $168!!!!!!!!!!!
Derrick doesn't even look at my mother...
Driver says the car is drivable, but we really should check it out. No problem.
Derrick grabs our vaccuum to clean the concrete and mud out of the car. Still doesn't look at my mother. He smells like a brewery.
Derrick, once you are finished vaccuuming the car, you must mow the lawn. Then, catch yourself a few hours sleep, I'll wake you and then you'll be my bitch for the rest of the day.
And he WAS my bitch for the rest of the day. My laundry got done (I folded.) the house was swept and cleaned. The dog given a bath... HE EVEN CLEANED THE GARAGE.
WHat does he recall of the whole incident? Dancing with some girl in the bar, trying to push the car off the block, then the police waking him up. That's it. He doesn't even recall spending $65 on the bar bill.That's my story. IP: Logged |
LaMFear
Dutch Pen - Cock sucking champ of 1999
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posted 09-19-2001 10:17
Well, did he at least get that girls number?IP: Logged |
Bex
Delicate Flower
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posted 09-19-2001 10:50
So how many blowjobs did he have to give to the fine members of the police department to avoid a DUI?IP: Logged |
Amazon
Anal Amazon,
Assaulter of Men
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posted 09-19-2001 11:23
No, the IDIOT did NOT get her number.Technically the police did not observe Derrick drinking and driving... he was passed out in the grass...
Like I said... My *IDIOT* brother...
IP: Logged |
eod
TREAT MERIGHT!
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posted 09-19-2001 12:01
So.. Whats going on with the car. The tow bill may have been $168 but how much are the repairs going to be? How bad is it? A bent frame is a bent frame no matter how much money you throw at it.IP: Logged |
Amazon
Anal Amazon,
Assaulter of Men
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posted 09-19-2001 12:15
Damn, I can't believe i forgot to tell this part:
NOTHING IS WRONG WITH THE CAR! At least, nothing mechanical. There is now a 4 inch dent in the bumper and the (Spot underneath the bumper) is a little crushed.Lucky him, huh?
No DUI, No ticket, and the car still runs.
IP: Logged |
LaMFear
Dutch Pen - Cock sucking champ of 1999
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posted 09-19-2001 12:20
REALLY lucky would have been getting that girls phonenumber. Make sure to remind him of that.  IP: Logged |
psyci
Gr4ph1c4l P3nn3r
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posted 09-19-2001 13:07
Hey, at least he didn't punch some random person in the face thinking it was someone else.IP: Logged |
fenomas
argument nazi
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posted 09-19-2001 18:33
STICK!IP: Logged |
Snag
Leaky Pen
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posted 09-19-2001 23:39
Ohhhh! Stiissssss.IP: Logged |
eod
TREAT MERIGHT!
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posted 09-19-2001 23:58
Roasted.. indeed..
IP: Logged |
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