posted 09-26-2001 17:27            

An Apache helicopter settles onto the barren plain. Out from it emerge three plain males. They wear an assortment of camouflage combined with curious t-shirts, with sayings like "I don't work here" and "will frag for bandwidth".

Geek 1: "(wheeze, wheeze) I thought...(gasp)...All that Quake...(gasp gasp)... Prepared me for this..."

Geek2: "...I haven't... (HACK! HACK!)... moved this much...(cough cough)... since I got off the couch... to get the UPS delivery... of BAWLS..."

JonKatz: "I just...(argh)...had an idea for...a follow-up series....(gasp)...to Voices From The Hellmouth Revisited: Part Ten...(cough gasp cough...)You guys want to... hear... it?"

Geek1: "Give me...that...damn...machine...gun. (cough cough cough)..."

JonKatz: "Alright! (cough gag) Wrong time..." (mutters into dictaphone) "...note to self. Idea...for commentary... Why today's geeks... (cough gasp cough) are unfairly stigmatized... (wheeeeeeze) ...as being insensitive... (HACK!)...to violence..."
Just as Geek1 begins to aim his machine gun at JonKatz, to put an end to his ravings once and for all, a crazed member of the Taliban comes flying over the desert horizon. He is screaming something.

The Geeks all stop and look at him. Terror strikes into their very hearts and souls. The words of their enemy shock them into utter panic.
Crazed Taliban Member: "ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US! ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US! ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US! "

Geek1, Geek2, JonKatz: "Aiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"
The three begin to flee in the opposite direction, now heading directly into a minefield.
Crazed Taliban Member: "YOU ARE ON YOUR WAY TO DESTRUCTION! YOU HAVE NO CHANCE TO SURVIVE MAKE YOUR TIME! HA HA HA HA!"
Geek1 stops running, a serene expression coming across his face. He grabs Geek2's shoulder by his t-shirt, quietly, allowing JonKatz to continue to flee further into the minefield.
Geek1 (teary-eyed): "Take off every 'zig'."

Geek2 (smiling): "You know what you're doing?"

Geek1 (nodding through tears): "Move 'zig'."

Geek2 (embracing him): "For great justice."

The two geeks turn to face their adversary, brandishing their weapons with a newfound confidence and sense of purpose. JonKatz vanishes over the horizon, screaming wildly.

CUT TO...

posted 09-27-2001 07:05            

quote:

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Originally posted by eod:
Just as Geek1 begins to aim his machine gun at JonKatz, to put an end to his ravings once and for all, a crazed member of the Taliban comes flying over the desert horizon.

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