posted 09-29-2001 15:34            

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So last Friday, my brother and I go on a gambling cruise. It leaves ft lauderdale, goes out to sea, drops anchor for a few hours, then it goes back.
My idiot brother takes A POCKET KNIFE!
Before we can even get on the ship, we must go through a checkpoint. Empty the pockets, open the purse... blah blah blah. Derrick has a pocket knife. DUH!
The cop tells him either take it back to the car, or throw it away. We parked 1/2 mile away, and he really doesn't want to throw it out, so he puts it UNDER a garbage container.
AS I am waiting for him to come back through checkpoint, they are waving the magic wands around him... of COURSE they beeped. He had this shirt on that had metal zippers on it, his belt buckle... (the plate in his head... no, kidding)
So, we finally make it aboard ship. I confess, I have too much to drink and pass out on a lounge chair on deck... Derrick leaves me there...
Yeah, thank you, my brotha.

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posted 09-29-2001 16:14            

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This is where I usually take a large bat, and aim for the knees.

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posted 09-29-2001 16:18            

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quote:

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Originally posted by hussain:
This is where I usually take a large bat, and aim for the knees.

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......I don't get it.

And I forgot to mention, the pocketknife was still there when we got back.

I also forgot to mention the seemingly innocent looking man standing on the runway... in BDU fatigues, a Army sweatshirt, a badge...... and an AK-47. Scary

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posted 09-29-2001 16:38            

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What was the guy with the gun doing? Just hanging out and being stupid or actually guarding something?

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posted 09-29-2001 16:45            

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Since I mentioned fatigues, a sweatshirt with a particular logo on on it, AND a badge, you figure it out.

(Hint: yes, he was guarding something.)

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posted 09-29-2001 16:56            

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quote:

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in BDU fatigues, a Army sweatshirt, a badge...... and an AK-47

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:: calls Shenanigans ::

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posted 09-29-2001 20:17            

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Was it the rifle, Jimbo?

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posted 09-29-2001 22:26            

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American soliders don't use AK47's. They use M16's. Therefore I call bullshit.

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posted 09-30-2001 00:44            

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Yeah, Bill, it was the AK.

On the other hand, Amazon thinks you can have guys stick their head out the window of a 747 with a shoulder-mounted rocket launcher and take out F-16s, so what are the odds of her correctly identifying make and model of an assault rifle?

So what was this guy doing in BDUs and an Army sweatshirt and a badge holding an assault rifle, Amazon?

obOffTopic: HAHAHAHA! A Def Comedy Jam commercial just showed a brief clip of Jamie Foxx saying "yeah, they got drive-bys in Africa now. RRRRRrrrr - " :: mimes sticking head out window and firing blowgun ::

That fux0r cracks my shit up.

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posted 09-30-2001 06:52            

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OKAY, yeah, I'm an idiot...
Like i say in my "if i were a terrorist' post, i don't know weapons. It looked to be an AK-47 (At least, the pictures I have seen), but it could have very well been an M-16
(M-16, M-17... whatever it takes. )

Now, I am NOT saying to stick ANYTHING out of a plane, jet, what-have-you... I said I would have schizo standing at strategic places with rocket launchers, but since I don't know weapons, I don't even know if this will work... probably not.
Hell, we have two rifles and a pistol here in the house... I couldn't tell you what they are, I only know the pistol takes 9mm bullets and the rifles are called SKS something or other...
I hope to the Gods NOBODY ever tries to break in the house while I am alone, cause I know i'd be killed trying to figure out the rifles and handgun.
But then again, if they are Middle eastern, I could probably just flash my tits and stun them for a few seconds (You know it's a sin for middle eastern men to see a nekkid woman who is not his wife/wives.)
So there, nah nah nah nah nah.

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posted 09-30-2001 08:04            

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hey amazon

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posted 09-30-2001 08:59            

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I'm staying right here. I want a good seat when Hussain goes ballistic.

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posted 09-30-2001 10:41            

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No no NO, that last post was NOT directed at Hussain, thank you very much. Hussain may be middle eastern, but we already know he doesn't THINK like the large majority of them.
Sheesh...
Hussain, really, don't go ballistic.

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posted 09-30-2001 11:59            

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The only way to find out for sure is if you show him your tits!

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posted 09-30-2001 13:02            

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Bahahaha, I HAVE PEOPLE FEARING ME!@$)@!#$&*

*turns red and smokes out of ears*

Note: I am not middle eastern, I am probably more southern than Jimbo, because for some reason I own a real cowboy hat. I was born in Alberta, apparently god has a sense of humor.

[This message has been edited by hussain (edited 09-30-2001).]

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posted 09-30-2001 19:18            

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born in alberta? i pity you man, i pity you

as for being stunned when amazon flashes you.. i think that would work on anyone. i mean, really, who wouldnt drop to the ground in a seizure upon seeing those two udders hanging down to her knees?

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posted 10-01-2001 05:21            

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Cheap shot, Zippy.

My udders hang down to my ankles, thank you.

[This message has been edited by Amazon (edited 10-01-2001).]

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