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Author
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Topic: Roomate from HELL!
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Bad Mr. Spinch
Member with a member
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posted 11-12-2001 15:49
   
Well, boys, girls, and strange mixes between the two, it's story time. My roomate tried to kill me Saturday night- because I wouldn't unlock a door for him. In the house where I'm living, there were three people- me, the sane roomate, and the insane roomate. Sane Roomate abruptly left for because he was sick of insane roomate harassing him for money, eating his food, et cetera. After he left, SR called me and asked me to lock his door so Insane Roomate couldn't get inside and sell his stuff for extra money. I complied, and, come Saturday Night, IR asks me why I locked SR's door. I explain, and then have IR pull his knife on me (he bought the same model that Hannibal Lecter uses in "Hannibal"), and says "I'll fucking kill you if you don't open the door. A minute and a scratch on my arm from an errant knife slash by him later, the door's unlocked. I'm just wondering what I should do. I'm moving back home in December, but don't want to live in fear for my next month or so here. I can't call the police, because his parents are wealthy and will post bail for him. I can't drive home, because I lack a car and driver's license. The only defense that I have is a Maglite full of rocks (because I can't afford batteries for it) and a katana blade. And I know that IR is crazier than a shithouse bat- he washes his hands to the point that they bleed, showers at least 5 times a day, lifts weights for three hours, and was born inside the Utah State Mental Hospital. Any input, even witty remarks to the effect of "Gee, you're fucked. Hope you have a will written" would be appreciated.-Spin ------------------
And crawling, on the planet's face, some insects- called the human race. Lost in time, and lost in space... and meaning... IP: Logged |
Clme
cake fiend
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posted 11-12-2001 15:54
Hrm. I always wondered what happened to Bob.IP: Logged |
zaksquatch
Member with a member
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posted 11-12-2001 16:04
How the hell did you end up moving in with someone who is apprently so obviously insane?IP: Logged |
Jimbo
1 dr3w j00 4 p1ggy!
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posted 11-12-2001 16:23
I think I'm going to have to join in with the "you're a fucking retard for moving in with this guy" contingent, here.Or call shenanigans. Or possibly both. IP: Logged |
eod
TREAT MERIGHT!
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posted 11-12-2001 16:26
They never seem insane until you take away their cake.IP: Logged |
eod
TREAT MERIGHT!
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posted 11-12-2001 16:29
I've seen my friends get taken by what seems like a decent or stable roommate.. I've seen someone who seemed stable (a little needy for attention) just go fucking completely insane. Also seen someone who seemed like the nicest guy in the world, had everyone fooled for months then suddenly looted everything. Also he could just be poor and can't really pick and choose where to live.. IP: Logged |
Bad Mr. Spinch
Member with a member
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posted 11-12-2001 16:36
Well, our friend the Insane Roomate was formerly one of my best friends, and never exhibited any kind of freakishness when I was around... until I moved in with him. Then, he becomes a total fucking nutjob... I always thought that the State Mental Hospital thing was a joke until I saw a copy of his birth certificate. ------------------
And crawling, on the planet's face, some insects- called the human race. Lost in time, and lost in space... and meaning... IP: Logged |
StickyLoad
Great Gobs of Cream
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posted 11-12-2001 18:10
I suggest you watch Dead Man On Campus. IP: Logged |
treyh37
Member with a member
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posted 11-12-2001 18:37
his parents are rich, yet one of them (his mom most likely) was in a mental house when he was born. yet he wants to get into your sane roommates room to steal food/stuff for money. if his parents are rich why don't they send him more dough?oh and investing in several locks to your room might be a good idea. or you contact his parents and the police and see what happens later and good luck
trey ------------------
all those who side with me when my reign of evil comes get free parking spaces IP: Logged |
Bad Mr. Spinch
Member with a member
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posted 11-12-2001 18:55
StickyLoad- I've already contemplated that, but I don't have the balls.Trey- His parents are worse than him. One's a rabid bible(well, Book of Mormon)thumper, and one's a major survivalist. They refuse to send him any money, and won't visit him. He told me once (when we were friends) that his parents had never complimented him on anything, so I know that his problems were a combination of genetics and lack of parental attention. His father also abused him- broke his collarbone and several ribs when he was seven. I had just thought that the insanity had skipped a generation, since he claims to strive to be nothing like his parents. And finally... when my parents visited me a month ago, they left me a cake. And he ate the whole damn thing. I know that isn't deep-rooted mental problems, but I at least have to be able to complain about petty things, too. ------------------
And crawling, on the planet's face, some insects- called the human race. Lost in time, and lost in space... and meaning... IP: Logged |
weis
bonzi buddy
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posted 11-12-2001 19:38
Look, it's very simple. I feel silly explainin this, but I'm feeling generous. Here's whatcha do:1) Cut your arm off with the katana blade. 2. Call police (with the other hand) and tell them your roommate has cut your arm off. C- Watch roommate get even more insane when arrested for something he didn't do. $) Sue roommate's parents for damages in civil court. V. Destroy all traces of this post so you don't get busted  weis PS In all seriousness? Go home early. Your parents will pick you up. ------------------
With proper thrust, pigs fly just fine.
--RFC 1925 IP: Logged |
Clme
cake fiend
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posted 11-12-2001 19:53
He.Took. Your. Cake.
GRRRR! Theres just some lines a man dont cross, if you catch my meaning. Thats one of them.
Another is dont forcefeed your roommate's cat yogurt without permission. DEATH TO THE CAKE STEALER! What flavor was it? IP: Logged |
jumper42
Frat Troll
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posted 11-12-2001 20:10
dude buy a gun and the next time he comes at you make him walk with a limp.IP: Logged |
psyci
Gr4ph1c4l P3nn3r
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posted 11-12-2001 22:04
Okay, here's what you do, you get a pumpkin, some jellybeans, and a pair of snowpants. Now what you need to do is hang the snowpants from the ceiling with some fishing line, and then put jellybeans in the pockets. Then, when he's not around, you put the pumpkin in one of the drawers in his desk, and tie it to a pencil. Now, when he...... Why the hell did that sound like a good idea a few minutes ago? IP: Logged |
Bad Mr. Spinch
Member with a member
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posted 11-13-2001 00:01
Clme- It was 2 layers of devil's food with a nice buttercream frosting and sugary raspberry tasting stuff in between the layers. My favorite.Jumper- No money, no gun. Also, being 18 means that all that I can get here is either a deer rifle or a shotgun. And I've never fired anything more than a pellet gun before that, besides. Weis- Closest that I could come to coming up early is 10 days for Thanksgiving break, this Saturday 'till next Sunday. They won't let me up for more because it's past withdrawl time and they want me to survive at least one semester of school down here because I paid so damn much for it (for me, at least... I got off easy compared to most, though. Only 1300 bones for 16.5 credit hours). ------------------
And crawling, on the planet's face, some insects- called the human race. Lost in time, and lost in space... and meaning... IP: Logged |
LaMFear
Dutch Pen - Cock sucking champ of 1999
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posted 11-13-2001 00:25
Just kill him and dumb the body somewhere.IP: Logged |
marcel
Member with a member bigger than the member with a member
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posted 11-13-2001 05:15
Assuming this isn't a troll.
Get the fuck out of there. Call your parents,
borrow the money, whatever it takes.
This guy's bad news.IP: Logged |
joshy
Uber PenIs
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posted 11-13-2001 07:38
Gee, you're fucked. Hope you have a will written.Get him on tape being a nutcase. Put some friends, preferably no-neck Football player or ROTC friends, in your sane roomate's room with a tape recorder, lock it, wait for the magic to happen. IP: Logged |
FC Troll
unregistered
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posted 11-13-2001 08:27
An insane roommate just rolled out of my ass. Am I fucked?IP: Logged |
LonMabonJovi
Member with a member bigger than the member with a member
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posted 11-13-2001 15:47
Hmm, the guy came at you with a knife in your own home. So he could steal the roommates stuff.I've gotten in trouble here in the past for being descriptive about stuff like this, but honestly do you feel safe sleeping there? The easiest way would probably be just to get the hell out of there, go to school and ask if they can help you out. But honestly, do society a favor ... wait until he goes to sleep, steal a baseball bat and bash that freak into a million tiny pieces. Beat him bad enough that you can finish the quarter without worrying about him causing any more drama. Lock him in the trunk of a stolen car and speed over bad roads, leave it in the desert in a nice sunny spot. Stick that knife he's so proud of up his ass and give it a twist. Duct tape his freak ass to a tree out in the middle of nowhere. Whatever you decide, don't stay there AND let him think he can get away with shit like that. Crack is fun, but goddamn when you gotta stab one roommate to steal from the other it's time to check yourself in. IP: Logged |
Clme
cake fiend
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posted 11-13-2001 16:25
You know... maybe you should move into the dorms.IP: Logged |
jumper42
Frat Troll
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posted 11-13-2001 19:40
if a 4 year old can pick up a 9 mil for $50; i am sure you can suck some dick to get one yourself.IP: Logged |
nuentoter
Hey look at me I got arrested for selling warez......... SIKE!! I'm a sneaky fuck
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posted 11-14-2001 19:00
when he's sleeping one night..
simply get some cement, mix it up inside the house (so its room temp) and then slowly (as not to wake him) cover him (in his bed) with the cement (that you just mixed) but do it quietly (and slowly) so that you dont wake him up(or he'll kill you) also bring a shovel with you (the one you mixed the cement with maybe?) and if he wakes up (from his sleep) then smash him in the head.IP: Logged |
nuentoter
unregistered
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posted 11-14-2001 19:04
THEN SELL HIM SOME WAERZ BUT DOANT GET CUAGHT BY THE COPZORZ OR YUO WIL GET ARRESETD LIEK ME!!!IP: Logged |
MightyMon
s0m30n3 s3t up us the m0n
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posted 11-14-2001 21:58
(don't forget the parentheses)(you idiot) ------------------
Another thread killed by MightyMon. IP: Logged |
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