posted 11-24-2001 13:26            

I was annoyed when my dad made a toast and my grandfather said 'god bless america' for the fiftieth fucking time that day. I'm so sick of hearing that. I'm not a god fearin' 'mercian.
He then tried to kiss my grandmother, she all but resisted. He actually had to grab her chin and kiss her. It was obvious she didn't like it.

For some reason being 20 means still 'too young'.

posted 11-24-2001 22:24            

http://www.creepyclips.com/clips/brain2.ram

would have been MUCH better

posted 11-25-2001 13:41            

I do have a great Turkey day story about my Dad, but he hates it, and besides, I told that last year on the main page (look it up if yer a newb). So instead I'll tell what happened a few years ago at my Mom's friend Mary Ann's house. Mary Ann (50+, divorced) was dating this guy named Fred, who is a fat and annoying lawyer. So we were chatting away, and my Mom asks Fred what he thinks of OJ's legal arguments (okay, this was several years ago), and Fred says out of nowhere, "Well, you can take the darkie out of the jungle, but you can't take the jungle out of the darkie." We all sit there staring at him like he's a creepy fungus, and he just doesn't seem to know he just alienated everyone. So instead of calling him on being racist, Mary Ann's uppity daughter starts talking about how fat Fred is and how unhealthy it is to be so obese. Things just kind of spiralled downwards from there. But the food was good.

posted 11-25-2001 18:23            

The main page archives from before July are temporarily unavailable. No set date has been set for their resurrection just yet.

posted 11-25-2001 18:39            

quote:

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Originally posted by Weis on the Mainpage:
Well, it's that time of year again, when we all eat turkey laden with growth hormones, genetically engineered yams, DDT-sprinkled green beans, and maybe even some hypo-allergenic, guaranteed non-toxic cranberry-like spread for dessert. I was thinking about all you poor nerdy overclocking bastards, and how hard it's going to be for you all to sit through another tedious family gettogether, trying to make nervous small-talk about which cousins are knocked up until your granddad drunkenly starts railing about how the negroes are taking all the good jobs. I know how rough it is, we've all been there. You see, most families don't see their out-of-town counterparts but once or twice a year, and there's a reason for that - so you won't have to know too much about each other's daily lives. But sometimes, some particularly morose Aunt will try to drag the amenable conversation on to some touchy topic, like her suspicion that you're gay because you spend all your time alone with a computer. That's when you need to bust out one of the traditional embarassing holiday stories that gets told year after year, so everyone can laugh at it all over again, and pretend they don't hear your creepy aunt. Unfortunately, I'm afraid that some of you might have families so fucked up that you don't even have embarassing holiday stories! So I thought I'd share one of mine. One year, when my Dad was a youngster, his Mom was cooking Thanksgiving dinner, and the whole family was over, milling aimlessly around the house and waiting to eat. Well, his Mom was running out of counter space, so when the turkey came out of the oven, there was nowhere to put it; so, she placed it on the floor and started clearing off the table. That's when my Dad, chasing after something or other, ran into the kitchen and - you guessed it - stepped in the turkey. My Dad fucking hates that story, but Fenomas and I have heard it so often that I feel as if I can see Dad in his younger days, looking sheepish as giblets run down his leg. So, now that you know it, use it wisely: when the family needs a little distracting, pick someone in your family (choose someone who's dead or at least very drunk, else they will try to claim it never happened) and attribute that story to them, thus giving everyone a good laugh, and hopefully they'll stop listening to your Aunt talk about the horrible pictures on your computer, and the funny smell coming from your stash.

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posted 11-26-2001 00:42         

Went to wife's sister house for desert. She has a HUGE family, kidz eat a bunch of crap (brownies, cookies, etc....) and bounce off the walls. My ENTIRE wife's family cram into a room and discuss past Thanksgivings, they had ONE BEER available, wtf this is a holiday.

Home by 10:00pm, kidz to bed.
Extract 12yr old Oban single malt from booze
cabinet, ahhhhhhhhhhh I LOVE Thanksgiving.

posted 11-26-2001 10:08            

Alas, I had to creep out of there around 7pm so I could drive home for an hour, sleep for two and then work a full shift starting at midnight. Damn job! That was the first time I had seen my little sis since August and I hadn't seen my dad since sometime in September.

posted 11-26-2001 13:20            

quote:

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Originally posted by LaMFear:
Because of my parents' beliefs I'm not allowed to celebrate Thanksgiving.

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posted 11-26-2001 19:24            

quote:

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Originally posted by LaMFear:
Because of my parents' beliefs I'm not allowed to celebrate Thanksgiving.

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Lamfear, you're Dutch. Unless Thanksgiving has a different meaning in good old Europe, why would you celebrate it anyway? Somehow rejoicing about the pilgrims and the native americans getting together over a turkey and corn doesn't strike me as a big Dutch holiday.