posted 01-03-2002 23:41            

when i'm not in boston going to school, i'm living on a fucking tundra. no bikes, no friends and i REFUSE to watch TV. i dont' have any money. and i've run out of book.
"the long dark tea time of the soul" was alright, up until the end. then it was like, well, wasn't that a great story, but none of it really mattered, did it?

my parents are driving my up the wall.

posted 01-04-2002 01:29         

"Yeah what happened?" asked his friend.

The first guy replies, "Well, er, I got my penis stuck in the neck of the bottle."
=-=-=-=-=-=-

A guy complains to his doctor that his sex life is deteriorating rapidly.

The doctor tells him he needs to reintroduce some excitement, unexpected lust, passion and so on into the process. He ponders this for a few days and hatches a plan.

"Well," he says to the doctor, "I did everything you suggested. The boss let me leave work an hour early. I sped home leaving rubber all over the road. I skidded all the way up the driveway (after I'd cleaned up the mail box). I slammed the door, charged into the house and found Sheila in the living room. I stripped her naked and we went to it, hammer and tongs, on the coffee table!"

"And did you enjoy it!?" asked the doctor enthusiastically.

"Well," says the guy slowly and thoughtfully, "No, but the Bible group thought it was pretty neat!"

=-=-=-=-=-=-
A man comes home from a tough day of work looking to unwind. After a relaxing dinner with his wife, they retire to bed. So, both go to their separate beds, however the man was not yet ready to slumber. The man calls over to his wife, "My little boopey-boo, I'm lonely."

So the woman gets out of bed and crosses the room to the husband. Onthe way she trips on the carpet and falls on her face. The husband with a concerned look on his face says, "Oh, did my little honey-woney fall on her little nosey-wosey?"

The woman gets up and enters the man's bed. The two have passionate sex and afterwards the woman rolls out. As she returns to her bed, she once again catches her foot on the carpet and falls flat on her face.

The man looks over his shoulder at his wife lying on the floor and says, "clumsy bitch".

posted 01-04-2002 01:53            

quote:

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"It seems your only option is masturbation."

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yes...yes it is...ahh...11 more days until my girl comes back...and then we go back to boston together...on the greyhound. joy.
27 hours or so on a bus with obnoxious people, a lame-ass bus driver, and having to deal with non-vegetarian bus stops...fucking greyhound....

quote:

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"The man looks over his shoulder at his wife lying on the floor and says, "clumsy bitch"."

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posted 01-04-2002 07:16            

quote:

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Originally posted by LaMFear:
Are there vegetarians around that drive SUV's?

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posted 01-04-2002 08:44            

quote:

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Originally posted by LaMFear:
It seems your only option is masturbation.

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That would have been a lot funnier coming from xclusive069

posted 01-04-2002 12:08            

1) Wait to the end of the day to whack it. For me anyway if I beat it in the morning the whole day just goes down hill and I have nothing to look forward to.

2) If you use your left hand it's like someone else is doing it.

posted 01-04-2002 21:05            

quote:

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originally posted by jeer:
"Vegetarian bus stops? Of course not! I never understood the no meat stance."

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i wasn't saying vegetarian only bus stops...just something other than mcdonalds or roy roger's...or something with a little more variety. hmm...nevermind...the could have veggie burgers in the little cafes at the larger bus stops...also, it's not really a stance, i jsut woke up one day and realized that eating meat really made me want to vomit...no matter how good it tasted, it just felt like i had a big-ass lump of "uncomfortable" in my gut. i've been vege for about a year and a half, and i haven't been really sick since.

quote:

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originally posted by xclusive069:
"Can't sleep? jerk it...always works"

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of course. if it weren't for this biological miracle i'd probably never get to sleep at night. i'd like to heartily shake the man or woman's hand who came up with this...after he or she washed their hands of course...heh.

after briefly browsing vegdot.com, sorry, .org...found something interesting...
why don't there isn't a dubious contraceptives department at PenIs. also, that article, though it came from said department had nothing to do with DIY condoms at all...grr...point taken though...

upon further examination of the title, it says "dubious contrapositives" damn i'm dumb. still though, a dubious contraceptives department wouldn't be too bad...

[edited for the hell of it...once more, for good measure, and again cause i'm a dumbass.]

[This message has been edited by oneitnsloth (edited 01-04-2002).]

posted 01-04-2002 21:27         

quote:

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Originally posted by jeer:

2) If you use your left hand it's like someone else is doing it.

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posted 01-04-2002 21:49         

I'm not a vegeterian, but only cos it's too much work (and bacon is tasty).

posted 01-04-2002 22:04            

quote:

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originally posted by dave:
that link you posted to on vegdot is from the dubious "contrapositives" dept. not "contraceptives".

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yes, i know...

quote:

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originally posted by oneitnsloth:
upon further examination of the title, it says "dubious contrapositives" damn i'm dumb. still though, a dubious contraceptives department wouldn't be too bad...

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posted 01-04-2002 22:21            

quote:

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Originally posted by psyci:
You mean you don't always use your left hand? Then how do you control the mouse?

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I call my little sister in to alt tab through pics for me or go back to a good 20 second spot in an mpeg.