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Author
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Topic: I'm thinking of becoming an alcoholic. Any suggestions?
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Amazon
Anal Amazon,
Assaulter of Men
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posted 02-04-2002 16:03
   
I hate beer. I hate whiskey. Hey, I'm a chick, so girlie drinks are my thing.
I was thinking of starting off with a bottle of Irish Cream... Bailey's preferably, but I am open to suggestions.I know 2 people that are missing, my ma has cancer and is sick, my bro is schizo... (No, not me, my bro.) and I may have to become his legal guardian. My job really sucks. Is hash better? Heroin? Getting into the fetal position and flogging myself with a golf shoe? IP: Logged |
zippy
Member with a member bigger than the member with a member
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posted 02-04-2002 16:34
the best thing to do, of course, is to end your life. face it, it will never get better than this. your two missing friends are probably dead by now, unless they're being kept somewhere as sex toys, in which case they're still probably dead. your brother will only get worse and worse and will continue to be a financial and emotional burden on you. and i'm not sorry to say this, your mom, She Who Spawned The Cow of Satan, will most likely die soon, but not before she degenerates to nothing before your very eyes. a gunshot between the eyes, a microsecond of doubt and hesitation, and it's all over. you wont have to worry about any of this every again. IP: Logged |
Clme
cake fiend
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posted 02-04-2002 17:05
Goddamn... I have the overwhelming urge to delete that.Start with the Baileys, perhaps white russians if you have kalua and milk. IP: Logged |
doomy304
member with a hymen
I stole Mon's goat
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posted 02-04-2002 17:22
Clme why DIDN'T you delete it?And as for the wanting to be an alcoholic thing, I obviously have no idea what would be best but you might wanna talk to lamfear cause rumor has it he knows some pretty nice wines. IP: Logged |
Starr66
PenIsite
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posted 02-04-2002 19:40
alcoholism seems to be the only logical option here...
balieys? kahlua? no dude. bad BAD shit to
puke up (chunks, big ones)i'd go for some nice vodka...or maybe even
rum, if the harder stuff just isn't your bag, go for some schnapps, but please, for the love of god, stay away from the "creme" drinks though.... and uh, zippy, i think it would just be best if you kept your suicide/homicide/wtf ever
fantasies to yourself.... IP: Logged |
Penisman
Uber PenIs
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posted 02-04-2002 19:56
Some homeless guy my friend met highly recommended G'n'G
(Gin and Gatorade)Gin: for when you want to retch when you smell juniper! IP: Logged |
Bitchgoddess
battin' .500
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posted 02-04-2002 19:57
I vote for deletion.
Amazon, I don't drink beer either, and i'm not really into wine. When I go to bars I drink screwdrivers and long island iced teas. Very tasty, and the long islands get you fucked up rather quickly. For shots I drink tequila shooters with salt and lime, poitin when I can find it (pronounced po-cheen, an Irish whiskey, used for toasting at weddings, actually tastes ok), and blow job shots. Blow jobs are kahlua and Bailey's irish cream, with about 3 inches of spray whipped cream on top, and you're supposed to drink it without using your hands, preferably from the lap of a random hot guy. Not that I've ever actually done it that way...
Anyhow, there are any number of flavored iced teas... ask your waitress what they are, they can usually hook you up with a good one. If you're into drinking at home, I recommend screwdrivers. Easy to mix, and tastes good. Or, you can always buy the frozen drink mixes, mudslides, orange dream etc, very yummy. God, I sound like an alcoholic, even though I only drink once or twice a month... IP: Logged |
Jimbo
1 dr3w j00 4 p1ggy!
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posted 02-04-2002 21:08
If you get fucked up on heavy cream / creme based drinks, you're going to WANT to kill yourself in the morning.Stick to something like vodka, if you're after a nice, efficient skull-fucking with minimal pain afterwards. IP: Logged |
PeterWiggin
Resident PenIs MC
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posted 02-04-2002 21:26
yo amazon.
let me tell ya sumpthin.
use vodka. and just put a lot of assorted fruity drinks in it. and gradually BUILD up the alchohol content per drink. So start with maybe a shot in a 16 oz glass. then work your way up till it's about 50-50. I would reccomend using different kinds of fruity drinks such as OJ... the best cover up. CRANBERRY juice... a very good cover up... then get wild and crazy and do whatever. just remember... you might not THINK your drunk when drinking like that.. till all the sudden you can't stand up and your puking in your own lap. So make sure you stand up after every drink or so... don't put all your mixing ingredients on the coffee table in front of the couch. good luck.... you should get a web cam so we can see how it goes.Peter IP: Logged |
Der Senfmeister
Member with a member
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posted 02-04-2002 22:13
Captain Morgan's spiced rum works for me. Eighty proof and tasty as hell.Mmm... IP: Logged |
Bitchgoddess
battin' .500
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posted 02-04-2002 22:24
Seriously, I usually drink screwdrivers when I drink in quantity, and I haven't had a hangover since the morning after my going away party in Germany (note, don't allow the Irish bartender to suggest drinks when you're the guest of honor, they will FUCK YOU UP).IP: Logged |
FaRaN
Member with a member bigger than the member with a member
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posted 02-05-2002 00:32
I can't believe you are all actually trying to help her become an alcoholic...If this is serious, she's not asking for help on the alcohol topic. She's asking help, like in real help. Maybe it's me. My advise is: drink for pleasure, seek help if you cannot handle life anymore. Do you have real life friends you can talk to? IP: Logged |
Bad Mr. Spinch
Member with a member
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posted 02-05-2002 01:38
I'm not one to censor posts, so I'd leave it, although I don't like it. On the alcoholism topic, I'd have to say not to even start- find something to absorb your time with- reading, maybe even playing Evercrack. And at least some people on here will attempt to help.------------------
The United States is a nation of laws: Badly written and randomly enforced. -Frank Zappa IP: Logged |
doomy304
member with a hymen
I stole Mon's goat
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posted 02-05-2002 04:20
Well dammit Faran I knew she didn't want to seriously become an alcoholic! Especially since she stuck that last line about heroin, etc in. I was just thinking that (if it was me anyway) just sitting around and going "Cheer up, life will get better!" wouldn't do one bit of good.IP: Logged |
Amazon
Anal Amazon,
Assaulter of Men
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posted 02-05-2002 05:48
quote:
Originally posted by Clme:
Goddamn... I have the overwhelming urge to delete that.Start with the Baileys, perhaps white russians if you have kalua and milk.
Ah forget it, Clme... just goes to show what an idiot Zippy is. He's just pissed off cause I told his secret...
Mind you Zippy, I didn't tell your secret till I thought you were GONE. Now, that secret is on the OLD BOARD and no one but admin can get to it. So stop being childish. IP: Logged |
Amazon
Anal Amazon,
Assaulter of Men
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posted 02-05-2002 05:51
No no no... I am not SERIOUSLY considering becoming alcoholic... just looking to "lose" myself for a night.Yeah, that's it. No, really. But i think I am just going to get in the fetal position and flog myself with a golf shoe and then drink some vodka.
IP: Logged |
Dave
Almighty lord of relevant links
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posted 02-05-2002 07:27
you know, since you're so anal, you could combine the two and give yourself a vodka enema. if you decide to do this:
1) yes, you will get drunk
2) use measured amounts of alcohol, as it will take longer to absorb, but you will absorb more alcohol, so you'll get really drunk off less alcohol without noticing it until too late
3) there is a danger of alcohol poisoning. if you don't trust your ass to do your drinking for you, stick to the tried and true methods.i would recommend smoking lots of weed as opposed to gettin drunk, but that's just cos i think alcohol is a lot worse than weed. ------------------
"I steal teeth from kittens to make necklaces for Satan." IP: Logged |
Amazon
Anal Amazon,
Assaulter of Men
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posted 02-05-2002 09:55
Ummmmmmmmmmi will stick to tried and true... IP: Logged |
FaRaN
Member with a member bigger than the member with a member
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posted 02-05-2002 12:59
Doomy, you're ignorant.I'm not thinking she actually will do it, trying to be an alcoholic. THat's just plain silly. 'what to drink to become an alcoholic' is just a cover, and very silly to ask. I'm saying that you people may sometimes consider someone is actually serious about something, and not respond in a 'I can type the most original/funny reply!', or 'look I actually know alot about booz, cool huh?!' way. OR amazon is joking... than all is well, but what if she's NOT?
She DOES have a sick mother and brother and lost 2 dear friends... Do you have those problems??
I don't... So I'm willing to actually consider her feelings, and point the finger at you guys. I know I would feel miserable if it happened to me. But hey, maybe I'm too sensitive and stuff today. Don't "dammit" me for it. One "Cheer up, life will get better!" won't do good. But I bet if 90% of the replies where that way, it definitly WOULD do good. Better than all the replies you all gave so far. Geez I'm soft today
IP: Logged |
Bitchgoddess
battin' .500
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posted 02-05-2002 13:18
Yeah, you're too sensitive today. Amazon seems to me to be rather well adjusted, if she needs to talk I'm sure she'll do so. The above posts were just goofing. And lets not get on the subject of personal problems, we all have them, some are worse than others, but we all have issues that must be dealt with. Hopefully things will get better, but we can't just sit around and wait for them to do so. Getting on with your life is the best way to overcome these issues, and humor is a great aid in getting on. Trust me, I have learned all about that in the last several months. IP: Logged |
doomy304
member with a hymen
I stole Mon's goat
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posted 02-05-2002 13:45
Faran - I think we are both entirely misunderstanding each other. IP: Logged |
upload
Member with a member
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posted 02-05-2002 17:51
what about kids who wnt to drink alone and dont wanna become alcoholics? any suggestions?IP: Logged |
Clme
cake fiend
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posted 02-05-2002 18:12
Tequila.Honestly... that will prevent you from becoming an alchoholic. Esp if you drink large mouthfuls straight from the bottle. IP: Logged |
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