penismightier.com

Just in case anyone was wondering, here is one of the reasons I do not like children:
11 year old mayor changes name of street to Justin Beiber Way.

Yes, its an old story. I just read it recently. Get the fuck off my lawn.

I know that on Wednesday an awful lot of people are going to be lost while sites like Wikipedia and Reddit are down in protest of SOPA (Stop Online Piracy Act). I support their protest completely, as do most members of the PenIsMightier community.

Just in case you’re missing Reddit during their outage I’d like to share a lovely screenshot that came from there thanks to the fine folks at the pen forum. Besides, it kind of fits in with what this site is sometimes known for… dirty old men and incest.

(Click the image for the full size).

Normally my cats are pooping machines. In fact, over the years I’ve developed a theory that a cats primary purpose in life is to manufacture poop. When it comes right down to it, shedding on my clothes is really just a hobby.

So on Sunday I noticed one of my cats had stopped pooping, and I realized there may be a problem. On Monday it started to produce again, but unfortunately its output dial seemed to be stuck on vomit instead of poop. I gave in, and resigned myself on a visit to the cat mechanic.

Thankfully there was an opening for Monday afternoon, and the mechanic was able to identify the problem after a minor examination.

It turns out that the cat must have had some… digestive problems… that resulted in poop getting stuck in the hair around its anus. This happened enough times in a row to form a strange hair-and-poop plug over its anus, and eventually prevented the cat from pooping.

This is apparently known as an anal cap. I prefer to call it an ass hat.

Suffice it to say I was happy that the poop machine was easy to repair. I’ve grown attached to this one, and this really isn’t the time of year to go shopping for a new one.

20 minutes later I had a very relieved cat and a bill for shaving the ass cap off the cats ass.

Now if (for some reason) you are curious about what could have happened to the cats internal systems during this ordeal, imagine what happens to a car when a banana is shoved in its tailpipe.

On a related note, I present to you, Beverly Hills Cop in one minute:

I recently realized that the behavior I exhibit that doesn’t make me feel guilty about Jehovah’s witnesses, salesmen, and Mormon missionaries does make me feel guilty when it comes to political canvassers.

For example: Last weekend, one of the “Recall Walker” signature-gatherers knocked on my door. I answered the door in my normal Saturday morning outfit: Wearing the scent of booze and my wife’s bathrobe.

In retrospect, I have finally realized that may be crossing a line of decency. Still, the man taking signatures handled everything professionally, and agreed to come back later to get my wife to sign. Thus, I was able to go back to sitting naked in my living room and forgot about the entire event until a few days later.

Why a few days later? Well, I wasn’t expecting another visit so soon and I had worked overnight the night before. When the doorbell rang, as usual I just made sure I wasn’t naked and just went to answer the door. The problem is that I was wearing boxer shorts, black socks and nothing else.

Now, as an aside, I’ve been told that my visage in nothing but boxer shorts frightens children. Its actually a little strange how often that comes up. As for the socks thing… I’ve got no excuse. I was just too lazy to take them off before I passed out at 5am.

So back to the door… It turns out that the same recall worker from Saturday was at the door. It was very obvious that my appearance frightened him. He was quite shaken and barely managed to ask if my wife was home before he said “OK… Um… Don’t worry sir, I wont come back!” and sprinting out of my front yard.

It is because of this that I express my sincere apologies to that recall worker, and to all political canvassers that visit my house in the future. I’ll be frank: I’m not going to change my behavior, but try to take solace in my admission of guilt.

Then pen forum gives us this little gem:
How to defraggle your motherdisc
(Thanks to LonMabonJovi for the link)

I have to say there is some good advice there. I found myself critiquing their technique at several points, but overall their dedication is admirable.

Our forum also included a quote from another sites review of the article:

To elaborate: the human equivalent would be performing a colon cleanse by cutting yourself open, removing your intestines, turning them inside out, and washing them in the dishwasher. With Drano.

posted by Deathalicious at 12:37 PM on September 13 [3 favorites]

From now on I am going to refer to all of my screwdrivers as datachisels. All of them except for the vodka and orange juice screwdrivers of course… That would just be crazy.

I always found the strange, bushy eyebrows old men seem to get creepy.

Then this morning I actually looked in the mirror while shaving and noticed an eyebrow hair out of place. I thought that was strange, since normally they don’t really move at all. So I touched the out of place hair, and it felt different.

Upon closer inspection, I discovered that the hair was more like the chest, armpit, or pube variety. I quickly tweezered it out.

As if it wasn’t bad enough that my back hair and my chest hair finally met at my shoulders, now its involving my eyebrows.

So then this evening, while brushing my teeth, I looked again… I swear the motherfucker was back! I tweezed it out again, but I’m dead sure that I’m going to wake up tomorrow with a bad case of old man creepy eyebrows.

I just wanted to post something here just in case that happened, because I swear to god I’ll bathe in depilatory cream to make that shit stop and I don’t know if I’ll survive the experience. Still, I figure there is a small chance I’ll become like the Joker in the Michael Keaton Batman movie, and have to start a life of crime.

Last Saturday morning I participated in a 5k “Race/Walk for the Cure” event to collect money for breast cancer research. (I was one of the walkers… At this point I don’t run unless I’m on fire).

I spent about an hour walking the route, and noticed that at several points along the route local residents had set up sprinklers to allow racers to cool themselves off.

At one of those points While watching several participants drench themselves the following words came out of my mouth:
“This is definitely not the crowd I expected to participate in a wet T-Shirt contest.”

It was definitely one of those “Oh shit, did I just say that out loud?” moments. There was some nervous laughter and more than a few glares in my direction. The glares prompted one of the people I was walking with to say “You know, that may not have been appropriate to say in this crowd.” I guess I should be happy that I didn’t just start chanting “boobies boobies boobies boobies boobies” like the voice in my head was doing.

I guess next year I’ll have to pull out the Save the Ta-Tas shirts.

But I digress. There were over 12,000 at the event, including 900 breast cancer survivors. By all accounts the event was a success and raised over $850,000. Not much gets me out of bed before 11am on a Saturday, but this is a worthy cause and I was proud to be a part of it.

As you may or may not be aware… There have been protests every weekend and many weekdays at the Capitol building in Madison, WI since the middle of February.

So… Why are there protests?

That’s the interesting thing. It started with collective bargaining rights, and has moved on to a scandal with the Koch brothers, giving direct control over the most liberal state University campus to the governor, potential fraud with supreme court elections, recall elections for both parties, health care and pension scandals, school funding, wind farms, voter ID, child support collection, tax breaks for the rich, and claims of vandalism to the state capitol. Those are just the ones I remember!

I thought I’d share some of the pictures I took of Madison protests during the weekend of March 12th when 100,000 people were there. I have also included pictures of the capitol itself from three weeks later.

I’ve been to a number of the Saturday protests since this started, and went back a few weeks ago (April 2nd) mostly because I wanted to see for myself the7.5 million in damage to the building from protests… supposedly from tape damage to soft stone walls. Of course I didn’t see any at all. The damage estimates have since been lowered to more realistic numbers.

Anyway, I don’t have much to say about the protests, elections, or recalls at this time. Its still too hard to sort the fact from the rhetoric, plus I have to clean spittle off my monitor whenever I start to type about it. For now just enjoy the pictures. Or make fun of them. Or ignore them.

The pictures can be found here.

I’ve also included a few links below in case anyone needs some background:

Interesting article about how the state has become divided.
Article about potential petition fraud
The push to get legislation through before the recall elections (including Voter ID)
The Wisconsin Supreme Court recount disaster.
Breitbart tells Madison to go to Hell

Finally, I just want to say that I wish the best for people in Michigan, Ohio, Florida, and any other state where there has been a major neocon/teaparty power grab to take power away from municipalities and give it to corporations.

Thanks to forum member Flashdim, we now have another fun BBS for playing some of those classic door games.  Join the pen community in a game of L.O.R.D., Baron Realms Elite, LORD II, Userper, and Tradewars 2002.

You can reach the door BBS:

telnet: games.manfish.net

The manfish game server (http://www.manfish.net) also hosts a ton of other games (Including a Minecraft server).  Join your fellow Pens in some good hearted fun.

Wisconsin has been busy over the last few weeks. I’ve missed most of the action due to travels, but damn it looks entertaining. Particularly the bits where someone pretended to be one of the Koch brothers and tricked the Governor into taking his call and speaking candidly.

(Call transcript here)

My main concern at this point: Even if Walker manages to convince everyone he’s going to accept compromise, he has a line item veto that requires a 2/3 majority to overturn. He can strike individual words, phrases, or sentences to completely change the meaning of a bill. Any bill that does pass through the legislature needs to be worded very carefully.

But then, how can it get worse than its already worded? Killing the public unions and guaranteeing that employees will always get less than inflation rate raises. Eliminating the oversight of the public service commission or legislature in public power plant sales. Splitting the University of Wisconsin into two pieces, one of which will be primarily run by 11 Walker appointees. Wording that leaves a blank slate for state medicare changes, with few changes spelled out in advance and reportedly no checks and balances on how Walker can change medicare in the future.

On the bright side, at least Wisconsin governors no longer have the power to remove individual letters. The “Vanna White” veto power was removed in the early 90s. Serious changes are still possible though: The previous governor actually eliminated over 700 words from one budget and changed the distribution of funds from transportation to education. I happened to support that particular use of it, but I also understand its an example of the practice being abused.

I have to say I’m proud of all the people that have stood up for what they believe in peacefully over the last few weeks, and I fully intend on taking some time to walk among them in the coming weeks.